Resonant Memories
by Kwirk
Summary: Greg wanted Nick to feel better, so he decides to pay him a visit, but can anything make Nick's memories of the worst day of his life fade away? PostGrave Danger, may contain spoilers.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

**Disclaimer: Don't own don't sue. **

**Greg Sanders paced back and forth in front of the apartment door, the rain falling around him effectively ensnaring all of his senses making him feel more alive but in essence making him more nervous as well. He sighed running a hand through his hair making it even spikier than it had been previous. "Okay." He said to himself, trying to gain enough courage to knock. "So he's still your friend, you can still talk to him, what happened doesn't change that Greg, don't be ridiculous."**

**He closed his eyes and sighed, images flashing before his mind, Nick in that box, the tears wet on his cheeks as he looked horrified at his surroundings. When he'd first seen the situation that Nick had been in a large knot had formed in his stomach, threatening to make him physically ill every time he thought of the man who had been so friendly to him since the first day he'd moved to Las Vegas in that situation. It just wasn't fair that this sort of thing kept happening to him, to either of them really. **

**Continuing to pace Greg tugged at his hair and walked back to his car getting in he rested his head on the steering wheel trying to control his tumultuous emotions, tears stinging at his eyes. "You're fucking weak G." He muttered scrubbing at his cheeks then his eyes. "Nick's gone through so much and you can't even talk to him, he visited you every day you were in the hospital after the lab explosion." He turned the key in the ignition and sat back in his seat looking at the apartment complex through the rain rapidly falling down his window, his eyes fixed on Nick's balcony. **

**There was another problem, the lab explosion, Greg felt phantom pains shoot up and down his back, the scars on his skin pulling taut as he tensed, remembering the searing agony that had flowed through him in a matter of seconds. A choked groan ripped itself from his throat as he fought back nausea, the smell of burnt flesh suddenly permeating around him. **

**Opening his eyes Greg breathed deep again and again, forcing a smile onto his face as he remembered hearing about Sara's wisdom when it came to gagging. _Smile G, just smile, you won't gag._ He turned off the car again and pulled the keys out fiddling with them, he picked up the colourful lei attached to it, running it through his fingers, the reality of why he was actually at Nick's slamming into him, full speed like a Mac truck.**

**The truth echoed through his mind at a dizzying pace, everything that had happened to him since he'd moved to Vegas. Greg's first meeting with Nick, his absolute shock at seeing the CSI who just seemed to exude a masculine sensuality that had wrapped itself around Greg, making him unable to do anything but choke out a greeting. When he'd moved to Vegas he hadn't counted on meeting such wonderful, caring men, although he had liked Warrick at first he soon realized that the rather large black man was a ladies man and he'd always preferred the twang of a Texas accent anyway. **

**It had seemed rather ironic to Greg when he'd heard what people had been saying about him before he arrived, that he was gay. The ultimate San Francisco stereotype, he'd denied it though and in the moment, he couldn't figure out why he had. The once lab tech had never experienced the shame of others who had been unable to accept themselves right away, he'd always been out and proud, his parents had supported him, his whole family had. But once he'd seen Nick, Warrick and the other CSIs he was just filled with a fear that had made him want to run to the safety and comfort of his home with his tail between his legs.**

**After the explosion Greg had realized that he shouldn't hide anything and that life was too short, but he still hadn't told anyone outright that he was gay. He'd merely, been less shy in hiding it, the outrageous personality he was famous for had faded slightly afterwards though, he'd shied away from people just in case they'd decided to hate him. But then he became a CSI, and he had more to be proud of, he'd accomplished something great, something that was more than his wildest dreams. And that disbelief had shattered with a fibreglass coffin, and the look of abject horror on Nick's face. He needed to tell the Texan how he felt, it was just too much, too many bad things had happened to all of them, life was short but it was shorter if you had a job like theirs. And somewhere along the line he'd actually fallen in love with Nick, the personality of the other man was suddenly comforting and exhilarating all at once. **

**Opening his car door Greg slid out, looking up as the sky remained open, rain still falling down around him. A grin broke out on his face as the cold water hit his skin, beading and sliding down his arms. He locked his doors and ran back to the apartment quickly climbing the steps to Nick's. Nervousness suddenly sank into the pit of his stomach and he bit his bottom lip, practically gasping as the door opened. He braced himself, preparing for what might happen. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Nick Stokes wandered around his apartment, his nerves making him edgy and jumpy at every little noise, every single raindrop that fell on the glass of his windows, every clap of thunder that shook the modest apartment where he lived. Curling up on his couch he flipped on the television and wrapped a blanket around himself fighting back the chills that threatened to engulf his body. He rubbed his forehead and switched channels fighting back a scream when he saw a woman in a horror movie being thrown into an empty grave. Memories tore at his open eyes threatening to consume him whole.**

**He remembered every single moment of his life, every little bad thing that had ever happened to him after that. Depression had threatened to swallow him, eating away at his mind, it was a desperation that he had never felt before in his entire life, a feeling that wasn't actually a feeling, it was just emptiness, this black whole that he'd had to claw his way out of for fear of his imminent demise at the hands of a predator even he couldn't fight without help.**

**The bottle of pills on his bathroom counter haunted him every morning when he woke up, knowing that without them his mind would fail him, sending him into a spiral of despair and desperation. Closing his eyes tightly he leant his head against the back of the couch wanting to scream so that everyone could hear him, so that everyone who loved and cared would know exactly how horrible he felt. Nick remembered his false, hollow words to those who called, insisting that he was moving on quite well, that he was fine. He fought to pretend that when he closed his eyes that he didn't dream of being locked in a small box, with so little air, the breath choked out of him in sobs. He continued to act like his friends, his family hadn't seen him like that, they hadn't seen his true weakness, the sobs bursting out of him at a rapid pace, the heavy breathing and the complete failure that face him when he was in that small space, all of his flaws and demons haunting him.**

**Not once in his life had Nick been truthful about whom he really was, what he really felt. He'd never seen reason to; after all he could be quite happy lying to everyone, especially his parents about who he really wanted in his arms at the end of the day, why he didn't have a wife and child yet. The truth was that Nick was gay; he didn't have any interest in marrying a woman. It all started when he was a child and met his best friend in public school; he'd been immediately attracted to the boy who had seemed so beautiful. But he'd denied his true self, his true nature, instead settling for a stereotypical high school roll, the quarterback dating the head cheerleader and when he'd gone onto college he had celebrated his newfound freedom by allowing himself to take home a number of one night stands, in the morning sending them away with a promise to call but never actually doing so. **

**However that had all changed with a pair of beautiful brown eyes and an easy smile, Greg Sanders, he was just…he was Greg. And that was the only way that Nick had been able to figure out a description of him. He was beautiful and he was Greg, the lab tech who was often geeky, but cool all at the same time, he had eclectic tastes and liked his rock music loud, the often sensual movements of his body conflicting with Nick's original assumption about the younger man being nothing but a science nerd, which he now realized had been rather hypocritical all things considered, he was often a bit dirty minded but not crossing the line into perverted. Greg was just easy to be around, his friendly smile and messy hair a comfort along with his often odd sense of style and the experiences he had packed under his belt with pride but not arrogance. **

**Where Nick had hidden himself behind a cheerleader, and later on a job Greg had experienced life, had tried new things that Nick couldn't have imagined before moving to Las Vegas and becoming a CSI. Every time he talked to Greg it was like a breath of fresh air, a new learning experience, sometimes he felt like pulling out a notepad and writing down everything the other man said, just so he could go over it later and remember the easy way Greg communicated with everyone around him. He knew that Greg was gay, everyone knew it, the rumours about the lab tech's supposed sexual preference had flown before he'd even arrived at the lab, and it was hard to ignore the way the younger man had looked at him and Warrick every time they'd entered the room.**

**Greg had been there when Nick had been pulled out, and Nick felt like crying when he remembered that Greg's easy smile, the smile he loved so much had faded, replaced with worry, and a shininess that meant that the lab tech/CSI was suppressing his own tears for Nick. He hadn't ever wanted to see that look on Greg's face; he'd never wanted to see tears in Greg's eyes again, not after the explosion.**

**Something else that haunted Nick's dreams, the explosion that two of his friends had been involved in. Greg's pained expression in the hospital when the morphine had worn off and he'd been subject to the agony of the burns decorating his skin. He hadn't deserved that, but then again none of them deserved the things that happened to them, the repercussions of their jobs. But Greg had been just a lab tech at the time, not a CSI, harm didn't usually happen at home, the place where they had all sought solace at times was contaminated with Greg's injuries, the memories of acrid smoke and burnt flesh. But Nick knew the lie in his thoughts, in his mind, because harm did happen at home, Nigel Crane had proven that to him. It was the reason he'd moved from his beautiful house to an apartment complex that didn't house an attic, with high class security systems and neighbors who would be able to hear screams if something horrible were to happen.**

**Getting up Nick shook his head rapidly to clear his mind of the thoughts haunting him. He wandered into the kitchen searching through the cupboards for anything remotely edible, having not eaten since breakfast the morning before, his stomach was beginning to protest and he could only hope that he would be able to keep the food down. Realizing that someone was outside his door Nick fought back the panic and walked over relaxing when he realized that it was Greg. He opened the door and arched an eyebrow leaning against the door jam looking down at Greg. **

"**Hey G, you gonna come inside or just pace back and forth in the rain until sunset?" He waited with baited breath for Greg's answer. **


	3. Chapter 3

"**I'm not sure." Greg admitted, his nervousness once again beginning to eat away at him... "Sunsets are pretty awesome, and oh so romantic." He joked batting his eyelashes. "But I think I'll come in." He resisted the urge to run back to his car and hide.**

**Stepping aside Nick allowed Greg to walk in, realizing that no one but Warrick from the crime lab had seen his new place. He'd just been so busy pretending to be okay that he'd forgotten to actually have a house warming party, or have anyone over other than the regular poker games with a few friends and Warrick. **

**Looking around Greg took in his surroundings finding the neutral tones oddly soothing and perfect for a man like Nick, he calmed down immediately, turning to look Nick in the eyes. "So what's up?" He asked as casually as he could manage despite the burning desire to kiss Nick deeply right there, anything to get rid of the haunted look in the other man's eyes. **

**"You can ask you know." Nick told him pointedly, trying to ignore the worried look in Greg's eyes, not wanting to admit that the other CSI even had a reason to worry, he was fine, after all.**

**Greg smiled crookedly. "How are you?" He arched an eyebrow wondering if Nick would finally tell the truth, he'd lied whenever Greg had asked that on the phone but this was the first time he'd actually gotten up the nerve to visit Nick, despite Warrick's insistence that Nick wouldn't mind. **

**Nick crossed his arms over his chest to hide the fact that his hands were shaking, wondering if he should actually tell the truth for once. "I'm fine."**

**"I'm sure you are," Greg murmured softly, his gaze shifting to Nick's crossed arms, he tried not to frown, not wanting Nick to know that he could see through every single lie that came from the Texan's mouth..**

**Fighting the quelling ball of panic in his stomach Nick forced a smile on his face. He knew Greg saw right through his lies, but he still couldn't allow them to slip.**

**"Do you need me to leave?" Greg asked, his own smile slipping away, he didn't want to leave Nick, not when the older man might actually need him, might actually need the friendship he was so willing to offer. Besides, Greg wasn't entirely sure he wanted to be alone anymore. **

**Nick shook his head. "That's okay Greggo. Do you want some coffee?" He tried to remain calm and relaxed, not wanting to break down in front of Greg.**

**Greg looked interested and smiled slightly. "Got any Blue Hawaiian?" He joked but brightened when Nick blanched slightly. "You do? Oh man, I told you you would submit to the coffee god's." He felt like dancing around the room, something about him had gotten through to Nick, even if it was just coffee, it meant that Nick paid attention to him. **

**"I couldn't help it, you got me addicted, and next thing I knew I was paying forty bucks a bag for coffee." Nick began making it, nearly dropping the two mugs, he bit back a groan, frustrated by his display of weakness.**

**Walking over to Nick Greg took the mugs from him. "Let the professional handle it." He grinned as he began making the coffee, the familiar routine making him able to relax further.**

**"I suppose I could let you work your magic," Nick sat on one of the kitchen bar stools, eyes on Greg, he allowed them to stray down the younger man's body, admiring the firm, beautiful form and his graceful movements, stuck on the way the lab tech/CSI's jeans fit him so perfectly. He shook his head quickly when Greg started to turn around, ridding those thoughts from him head.**

**Greg handed him a cup of coffee and sat down beside him sipping his own. He kept his eyes on Nick's hands resisting the urge to take one in his own, wanting desperately to calm them, wanting desperately to hold Nick and make every single bad thought in his head go away.**

**"What is it?" Nick asked, Greg's attitude was odd, even when he'd stopped by the lab the younger man had still been filled with the same nervous energy that made him think that Greg might bounce off the walls at any second, but now, he just seemed so calm.**

**Shaking his head Greg shrugged, not knowing if he should tell the truth right away, not wanting to make Nick retreat further away from him and everyone else. **

**Nick sighed, a little frustrated at everyone's oversensitivity, they couldn't just tell them the truth, which was what he really needed to hear to snap out of the dreamy world he found himself in. "What are you staring at?" He tried again, his eyes pleading with Greg.**

**"Your hands," Greg replied truthfully, giving in, he smiled weakly then lowered his eyes.**

**"They won't stop shaking," Nick muttered, rubbing one hand with the other. "And there's nothing anyone can do." He sighed and resisted the urge to run away and hide behind a locked door until Greg left him alone.**

**Greg placed his hand over Nick's. "They will," He assured; he would help them stop shaking if he had to.**

**Nick managed a weak smile. "You would know," He responded softly, remembering how badly Greg's hands had shaken after the explosion in the lab.**

**"Yes I do, and it will stop," Greg continued drinking his coffee unaware that he hadn't yet moved his hand, when he realized it he still didn't move it, Nick didn't seem that bothered by it so he stayed in his current position.**

**Sipping his coffee Nick felt his stomach growl and his cheeks flushed, remembering that he had yet to eat something for dinner.**

**"We should order a pizza," Greg told him pulling out his cell phone. "What would you like on it?" He prayed for Nick to allow him to stay longer, not wanting to leave his side just yet.**

**"Extra cheese, green peppers, onions diced, pepperoni and tomatoes," Nick responded without hesitation, he bit his bottom lip hoping that Greg wouldn't realize that he was desperate for him to stay.**

**Greg placed the order for delivery. "How about you show me this giant television Warrick is always raving about?" He stood finally letting go of Nick's hand immediately feeling the loss of warmth that Nick seemed to exude.**

**Nick stood up and grabbed two Coke's from the fridge before leading Greg into the living room, he sat down in his favourite recliner, feeling more relaxed then before, Greg's presence soothing him in a way he never thought possible.**

**Flopping down on the couch Greg grabbed a can from Nick. "Coke Nick? I figured you more for a bar man. Cold beer right from the bottle and whatnot." He teased lightly, falling into the comfortable roll of the geeky lab tech turned best friend.**

**"Can't drink while taking medication." Nick explained, the bottle of pills on the bathroom counter still bugging him, had he taken his evening dose yet? Would he end up breaking down in front of his best friend, showing his ultimate weakness?**

**"Ah I see, taken up some medicinal Mary Jane have you?" Greg wiggled his eyebrows, noticing a preoccupied look in Nick's eye that worried him horribly.**

**Nick chuckled. "I think that's more your style then mine," He replied. "Not that I'd hold it against you or anything." He amended quickly, not wanting to insult the San Franciscan. **

**"Not lately but yeah," He admitted grinning, no longer wanting to hide the person he was from Nick, figuring that he could start small, well, as small as regular drug use could be.**

**"How do you pass the blood tests?" Nick asked him, intrigued by every facet of the man in front of him. **

**"Uhm, Nick, I'm a genius," Greg pointed out, mock arrogance on his face. "I was a lab tech before I was a CSI remember." He shivered lightly, not wanting to think about the coldness of the lab.**

**Nick rolled his eyes. "Like I'd forget that, besides that was merely months ago." He sniffed lightly, the smell of smoke drifting into his nose abruptly before he managed to stamp down the memories.**

**Greg shrugged sipping his drink. "You won't tell Grissom or anyone will you?" He asked, a nervous twitch in his right hand, he couldn't stand to lose the job he'd fought so hard for.**

**"I wouldn't, I know that with this job sometimes it's better just to relax or you might go crazy," Nick promised, realizing he'd never been able to keep his eyes off Greg when he was in a room, and also that Greg was the one thing that kept him from going crazy. This realization stunned him and he sat back, surprised at himself.**

**When the doorbell rang Greg decided to get the pizza after noticing Nick's visible flinch. Getting up he walked to the door and checked who it was before opening it and paying, making sure to close and lock the door out of concern for Nick. He found the plates and grabbed two before making his way back into the living room, putting them down on the table he served up food for him and Nick handing him the plate.**

**"You didn't have to pay for it," Nick told him softly, a peculiar sense of contentment filling him as he began to eat. **

**"I know," Greg said simply before he began eating happily, realizing that Nick was beginning to warm up to him finally. **

**Nick found himself smiling more than he had in weeks and more relaxed as well, he continued to eat, no longer caring if his looks at Greg lasted longer than those of a simple friend would.**


	4. Chapter 4

**"What's one thin you've always wanted to do?" Nick asked after they'd finished eating, desperate to get to know more about Greg and how his mind worked. **

**Greg considered this as he balanced his drink on his stomach. "There are two things," He responded softly, finally deciding to tell him the truth.**

**Nick nodded. "And they are?" He sat up, trying to not appear too eager. **

**"Skydiving." Greg answered, his nerves making him unable to admit the truth right away.**

**Surprised Nick glanced at him, turning away from the television. "You've never been skydiving?" He seemed shocked, Greg always seemed so adventurous and willing to try absolutely everything; maybe he had just as much fear in him as Nick did.**

**Greg shook his head, "I've been paragliding, parasailing which I suppose is the same thing and bungee jumping." He smiled lightly.**

**"What stopped you?" Nick questioned arching an eyebrow.**

**"It wasn't on the top of my list," Greg explained easily.**

**Nick nodded in acknowledgement, still curious, unable to help himself. "What is on the top of the list?"**

**Greg blushed lightly. "Nothing you need to known about," He mumbled, chickening out, he beat himself up. **

**Intrigued Nick moved so he was sitting next to Greg on the couch and could further prod him into telling the truth. "What is it?" He coaxed poking the younger CSI with one finger, his own playfulness surprising him. **

**"Nothing," Greg responded poking him back, grinning wider. "None of your business Stokes," He told him mock gravely. **

**Nick made a face, his curiosity making him want to shake the younger man. "C'mon G, you can trust me, what's on your list?" He asked, allowing himself to be serious and concerned.**

**"To tell people at work that I'm more interested in boys than girls." Greg said softly, eyes lowered to his hands that had begun shaking, he sighed softly and closed his eyes briefly so that he didn't have to face his own weakness.**

**Nick covered one of Greg's hands with his own then held it, squeezing gently. "They'll stop," He murmured, echoing Greg's earlier word.**

**Greg couldn't help the small smile that graced his lips at Nick's words. "You don't care?" He seemed stunned, what if all along he'd actually been hiding who he was and no one even cared.**

**"I care that you thought none of us knew Greg and none of us care," Nick explained, wanting Greg to understand that the reason everyone cared about Greg was because he was Greg, and that was all that mattered.**

**Greg looked shocked, he stared at Nick, mouth dropped open, thoughts racing through his mind quickly. "No one cares," He muttered, feeling almost tearful at the happiness welling inside of him. **

**Nick merely smiled waiting for Greg to come to terms with what he had just been told, understanding how hard it must be because they had all seen how hard it was for Greg to hide his true feelings.**

**"How did you know?" Greg managed to choke out, resisting the urge to curl up into a ball and cry, or maybe run home to his mother.**

**"It's kind of hard not to notice someone undressing you with their eyes every time you enter the room like you do me and Warrick," Nick explained, his thoughts floating out of his mouth before he could even try and stop them. **

**Greg turned bright red, his hand trembling in Nick's. "I'm sorry; I didn't think you'd notice." He lowered his eyes, not wanting to see the disgust that might be decorating Nick's face, marring his handsome features.**

**Nick ran his thumb lightly along the back of Greg's hand. "Do you know what the difference between a seasoned CSI and a new CSI is Greg?" He decided to take the plunge, sick of hiding.**

**Greg shook his head. "I suppose not." **

**"A seasoned CSI notices when a lab tech wants to have sex with them but a lab tech or any new CSI doesn't notice when a seasoned CSI wants to fuck them," Nick said bluntly, shocked at his own seriousness. **

**Greg coughed roughly, realising he probably shouldn't have tried to take a drink, he rubbed his throat, feeling it burn and wondered if he'd been hallucinating the entire time. **

**Nick rubbed his back soothingly. "Are you alright G? I didn't mean to lay it all on you at once like that." **

**Calming down Greg took another drink, his throat burning, "I'm alright, just a little shocked is all." He admitted, sighing softly, realizing he'd just made a fool of himself in front of Nick.**

**"I would be too if I were you," Nick told him. "Do you need a minute to think about it?" He looked concerned. **

**Greg shook his head, squeezing Nick's hand lightly.**

**"What do you want?" Nick asked, noticing the odd look in Greg's eye. **

** Taking a deep breath Greg looked at Nick. "I want the top of my list." He managed to say, worried about how Nick would react.**

**"Go ahead," Nick prompted, suddenly nervous by what might happen between the two of them. **

**Greg pushed himself up slightly, using the back of the couch and put his drink down, his hands still shaking slightly. He leaned towards Nick, his usual quirky grin in place and kissed him softly, moving his lips against the Texan's. **

**Nick slid one hand down Greg's back gripping lightly, not pulling him closer yet, he returned the kiss pressing his lip's firmly against the younger man's, wanting to engulf Greg in his arms and never let go, the easiness of their kiss surprising him. The feel of Greg's lips feeling like home, warmth and serenity, his mind suddenly at ease. **

**Making a soft noise Greg let go of the back of the couch allowing his body to rest against Nick's slightly, the electricity in Nick's touch making him come alive.**

**Nick smiled against Greg's lips before nipping at the bottom one lightly, remembering how the other man had joked around about liking it rough. **

**Allowing his lips to part Greg sucked Nick's tongue into his mouth amazed at what was happening. Only in his wildest dreams had he imagined Nick returning his feelings, he managed to pinch himself lightly, trying to make sure that it was actually real and not just another dream.**

**Deepening the kiss Nick cupped the back of Greg's neck trying to get him closer, an unknown need filling him.**

**Greg moaned softly pressing himself into Nick. He pulled back a few minutes later panting roughly, "Jesus," He muttered, looking down at Nick.**

**"Yeah," Nick gasped out, the tip of his fingers ghosting across the exposed skin of Greg's back, the softness of it skin warming his hand and dragging him out of the stupor he'd been in for weeks.**

**Shivering slightly Greg bit his bottom lip, his eyes seeming darker than before. "Nick, I…" He halted, unsure if the older man would be ready to take that step.**

**"You want more," Nick replied, finishing his sentence for him, his voice low and husky, his accent seeming heavy even to his own ears.**

**Greg nodded, "You?" He questioned nervousness in his eyes.**

**Nick sat up and pulled Greg off the couch leading him towards the bedroom. "Of course I do." He answered, willing to take the plunge and try with Greg, to have Greg in his life for more than just a one night stand.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Greg kissed him, allowing their tongues to duel lazily as aftershocks shot through his body. **

**Smiling against Greg's lips Nick pulled back. "Ya know what Greggo?" He asked.**

**"What?" Greg arched an eyebrow.**

**"I think I'm in love with you," Nick murmured, wrapping an arm around his waist, the truth no longer making him fearful, but comforting him when he needed it the most. **

**Greg's smile fell away and he lowered his eyes, realizing that the only reason that Nick was saying it was because they'd had sex, just like everyone else that he'd been in love with. **

**Nick looked worried, trying to get Greg to look at him. "What is it G?"**

**"You say that now and it's only because we screwed around," Greg replied almost angrily, stung by how he had once again allowed someone to use him for their own pleasures, neglecting what he felt. **

**"That's not it at all," Nick argued. "I've felt something for you for awhile." He felt hurt by how quick Greg was to dismiss his feelings. **

**Greg shook his head. "Yeah usefulness. The lab rat, always quick on the job, the new CSI, always willing to take your cases," He spat, anger present in his eyes that Nick had never seen before. "A good little fuck toy." **

**Nick felt horrified. "No, no one thinks of you like that, least of all me." He argued, wanting desperately for Greg to believe the truth behind his words. **

**"Eric thought of me like that." Greg whispered the name of his ex. "He thought I was nothing more than a useless piece of shit," Words began to spill out of his mouth, and he was helpless in his attempt to stop them before he told Nick what had happened, he couldn't help it as he floated into the past that haunted him every day of his life. **

**Greg had met Eric a few years before when he had gone to a convention and had immediately sought out the good looking man in an attempt to make his feelings for Nick to go away. At first it had been so nice, Eric made love to him, not questioning the reasons why Greg often seemed closed off and unable to communicate exactly what he wanted and how he felt. **

**Eric had even moved to Las Vegas with him, which in a way had been one of the hardest things that Greg had ever had to go through. He had no longer been able to have Warrick, Nick or anyone from work over in fear that they might figure out exactly what he was. He couldn't stand being hated by anyone, he just couldn't. And that was where things had gone frighteningly wrong with Eric. **

**One night Greg had returned home late for work to find Eric in bed with someone else, he'd freaked out unable to believe that the man who claimed to love him so much was capable of treating him like that, of disrespecting him in such a manner. He'd fled his apartment to get away from the sight that continued to plague him, when he'd gotten the courage to go back home he'd been filled with an anger so powerful that all he'd been able to do was scream at Eric as soon as he saw him. What he hadn't planned on was the reaction that Eric would have.**

**Eric had hit him over and over again. He didn't stop until Greg had been unable to move, and was curled up on the floor in a ball, whimpering, blood sliding down his face. The next morning he had called into the crime lab claiming to be Greg's brother visiting from San Francisco, and told Grissom that Greg was frightfully ill. Grissom, as busy as he was hadn't even really questioned it and hung up the phone, it had been months until Greg had been able to break up with Eric after defending himself desperately with his fists and no one had even noticed the various bruises that decorated Greg's body for a long time and how he had flinched every time that he had been touched. **

**Months later Greg realized that the reason he hadn't been willing to let go of Eric because of his discretions was because he was trying so hard to let go of the feelings that he had for Nick and what those feelings could mean for him and his career. **


	6. Chapter 6

**Sniffling Greg found himself trembling almost violently in Nick's arms, tears sliding down his cheeks as he came back to himself, reality sinking in, he'd just admitted to Nick that he was weak. He'd admitted that he was like so many of the women that they had both seen come into the crime lab, alive and dead, unable to defend themselves from their husbands.**

**Anger which had filled Nick the longer Greg had explained to him his fears and innermost thoughts caused him to practically seethe, his eyes dark, almost black in their hatred for the man he had only seen once, and hatred for himself for not noticing what had been happening to the young man who he had considered a close friend, the man he loved. "Who cares what that asshole thinks?" He spat holding Greg closer.**

**Greg shrugged and wiped his cheeks frantically trying to get rid of the remnants of his tears. "I guess I do." He muttered, every bad word that Eric had ever said to him still floating through his mind, haunting him and making him think less of himself, every second of every day. **

**"I don't care what he thinks of you Greg, because I know what I think of you." Nick told him forcefully. "But do you know what I think of you Greg?"**

**Shaking his head Greg worked up the courage to look into Nick's eyes surprised to see only love there.**

**Nick pecked him on the lips softly, his hand running up and down Greg's side gently, in an attempt to sooth him. "From the moment I first saw you I realized that you would be a problem."**

**"Oh thanks Nick," Greg interrupted sarcastically, turmoil flowing through him as quick as his pleasure had moments before.**

**Pressing a gentle kiss to Greg's lips once again, Nick shushed him gently. "I knew you would be a problem before you were just so damned beautiful, you seemed to hold an almost angelic grace despite your nervous nature."**

**Greg smiled weakly, remembering how nervous he'd been on his first day and how awed he'd felt at the sight of the Texan.**

**"And you were everything I'd always wanted to be but I was so scared to, you were quite obviously gay despite how hard you'd been trying to hide it," Nick whispered softly into his ear, as though he was telling his biggest secret.**

**Closing his eyes Greg rested his head on Nick's shoulder, willing to listen to his explanation without question.**

**"You liked to take risks and chances, dressing the way you wanted, you're cool Greg, and you're just Greg. I think that's what made me fall in love with you, you're so busy being yourself and denying your sexuality that you don't realize that no one actually cares." Nick stroked his cheek the lightest bit. "I didn't want to be around you as much as I was but obviously I couldn't deny it, I couldn't just ignore you, you were the most efficient tech in the lab, without the arrogance and ass kissing of Hodges." **

**Greg chuckled softly, flattered.**

**Nick smiled back at him kindly. "In high school I was the jock, dating the head cheerleader, acting so cocky and confident. I acted exactly like I thought my parents wanted me to, like everyone wanted me to. And college wasn't really any different, I had one night stands with guys sure, but in the morning…in the morning I was often cruel in my attempts to get them to leave, in an effort to wash away that part of myself." He took a deep breath. "It made me resent you in some ways, because you were so natural, so fluid in your life, you settled into Vegas right away, without the wide eyed shock that I had had no choice but to succumb to. And at the same time I wanted you to be the one to teach me how to be me, to teach me how to feel comfortable in my own skin, which in a sense you have."**

**Feeling touched Greg brushed his lips across Nick's cheek gently. **

**"Just by being around and being in your presence I learnt that denying myself and you was such a horrible thing to do." Nick murmured. "Because life is so short and you only have so much time, I was ready to give myself up to you." He swallowed heavily. "And then there was the lab explosion…"**

**Greg squirmed uncomfortably.**

**"When I heard that you'd been hurt I thought that my life was over Greg, because I'd been too chicken to tell you how I really felt about you, that you were more than just some lab tech who I needed for friendship and information." Nick stroked his hair. "I told you while you were asleep, when I thought you would be unable to hear me, because I still managed to convince myself that you deserved better. But what I should have realized is that you are the perfect match to me that my grandmother always talked about. You understand me better than anyone else. Now do you see that I love you?"**

**Greg hesitated slightly, fear still in his eyes before he nodded slowly.**

**Nick grinned. "You don't have to fear me, now no more arguing, just go to sleep."**

**Grinning Greg willing moved further into Nick's arms, resting his head on the Texan's chest he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep pretty quickly, his dreams no longer haunted by visions of fire and caskets but of Nick, happy and smiling.**

**Nick lay awake for awhile, merely watching Greg sleep before he succumbed to darkness, receiving the deepest sleep that he'd had in months.**


	7. Chapter 7

**The next day Nick shifted around, confused by the weight in his arms he opened his eyes slowly and looked at the clock realizing that he and Greg had a half hour to get to work before they would be late. He shook Greg gently, "Greg wake up, we only have a half hour." He ran into the bathroom, popping to pills into his mouth he dry swallowed and hid them before getting into the shower, turning on the spray he began washing quickly.**

**After a few minutes Greg jumped out of bed realizing what Nick had said he ran to the bathroom and without asking climbed into the shower with him. "Hey," He greeted almost shyly.**

**Nick grinned and tugged Greg closer, against his chest gently before kissing him deeply, his tongue searching Greg's mouth. **

**Melting against Nick Greg moaned softly, happy that the Texan still accepted him even though it was the morning after. He managed to pull himself away sluggishly. "We have work don't forget." He quickly washed his hair and scrubbed his body.**

**Nick sighed. "I wish I could just stay in bed with you all day and play a little." He winked before stepping out of the shower.**

**"Next time we'll have to set the alarm so we wake up well before work, I can't think of a better way to start my day then to be with you," Greg replied softly, staring at the water slipping down Nick's back as he followed him into the bathroom, gratefully accepting the towel.**

**Taking the towel back from Greg Nick ran it along the younger man's chest gently drying him off he ran it over his hair. "I have some gel on the nightstand and you can wear any of my clothes that you want."**

**Greg grinned and spiked his hair using Nick's gel, he searched through the closet, picking out one of the softest t-shirts Nick owned he pulled it on inhaling the scent, the smell comforting him. He grabbed a pair of jeans as well and tugged them on, making sure to put a belt on as well. "I love you Nick." He murmured wrapping his arms around the now fully clothed Texan.**

**"I love you too," Nick murmured happily before kissing him again.**

**Returning the kiss Greg sucked on Nick's plump bottom lip, pressing his body into the older man's wanting to become one with him again. **

**Nick groaned roughly, sliding one hand up Greg's borrowed shirt, dragging his nails along his back, trying to pull him closer despite the fact that they were pressed tightly together. **

**Greg whimpered arching against him, he felt his length harden, his passion for Nick coming alive in him, he gripped the back of Nick's neck, pulling him down so that he could explore more. **

**Pulling away slowly Nick sighed softly, resting his forehead against Greg's. "We really have to go to work." He muttered, practically pouting.**

**"Now now Mister Stokes, if I didn't know any better than I'd say that you were sulking," Greg purred teasingly, he ran a hand down Nick's chest, the rumbling groan that followed his action further arousing him.**

**"Shit Greg, it's my first day back and I'm going to have to show up like this." Nick stepped back and gestured to the rather sizeable bulge in his jeans. **

**Greg looked serious suddenly. "Are you okay? I mean your first day back and all?" He allowed his concern to show, realizing that Nick actually appreciated it.**

**Nick smiled and pecked him on the lips lightly. "I'm nervous as hell, and I don't know how long it will take me to be able to work a crime scene alone again but I'm sure I'll be fine."**

**Studying him Greg relaxed slightly. "Alright well we better be on our way, you driving?"**

**"Yeah I guess I am," Nick wrapped an arm around Greg's waist as they left the apartment and made their way to his truck. **


	8. Chapter 8

**When they arrived at work Nick began changing into the clothes that had been left in his locker, vividly aware that Greg was only five feet away from him the entire time, practically in touching distance. He tugged the work shirt over his head just as Warrick wandered in, looking just as tired as he did. "Hey 'Rick, what's up?" He felt bad that he hadn't actually taken the time to talk to the black man in the weeks following his incident.**

**"Not much," Warrick replied, slapping him on the back in a friendly manner, letting him no that there were no hard feelings between the two of them. "Good to have you back man; it's been a lot less fun without you around."**

**"Thanks," Nick smiled as Catherine came in. "Hey Cath." He greeted the women happily, genuinely glad to see her.**

**Catherine kissed his cheek softly. "How are you Nicky?" She looked at him with concern in her eyes.**

**Nick returned the gesture, for once not bothered by her motherly nature. "I'm feeling better," He told her, surprised to find that it was no longer a lie, that he actually was feeling better and it had almost everything to do with Greg.**

**"So we're all back together again," Greg broke into the conversation, slinging his arms around Warrick and Catherine's shoulders, "One big happy family." He declared rather loudly, sneaking a flirtatious look at Nick, he winked.**

**"Wow Sanders what happened to your neck?" Warrick asked, arching an eyebrow immediately noticing the purple mark that looked like someone had bitten him.**

**Greg ducked his head, a light blush decorating his skin, he lowered his eyes ready to deny where the bite mark had come from before he looked at Nick and happiness filled him. "Went riding yesterday and got bit by something wild," He responded nonchalantly, shrugging his shoulder in an easy manner. **

**Nick laughed softly, shaking his head at Greg's actions, but happy to see that he seemed to be more back to himself than he had in the months previous. "No need to lie G," He told him softly.**

**"I'm not, you are pretty wild," Greg said flirtingly, taking the plunge and allowing his two co-workers and friends to see him just for what he was.**

**Warrick groaned and slapped twenty dollars in Catherine's hand. "I can't believe it, I knew you were gay Sanders but I never would've imagined that Nick would've had feeling for you. Not that there's anything wrong with that," He amended quickly, catching the look that Nick shot him.**

**Greg shrugged again. "I guess I'm just that fabulous," He slipped away from Warrick and Catherine moving to Nick's side, beaming when the Texan wrapped an arm around his waist. "And maybe Nick's just that damn sexy, he just can't be straight with a body like that."**

**Catherine laughed. "I knew it all along, I have excellent gaydar, I can't believe you never saw the way those two looked at each other Warrick, I think even Grissom noticed and that's saying something. I know Sarah did because we always talked about the two of you getting together." She arched an eyebrow studying them. "And they do make a very nice couple, if I do say so myself."**

**Groaning again Warrick took her elbow and led her from the room once she was finished putting her purse in the locker. Catherine merely waved and smiled at them before going back to bragging to Warrick about how she had been right all along.**

**"I'm glad they don't care," Nick confided in Greg, his fear dissipating rapidly, as he looked into Greg's eyes.**

**Greg nodded taking one of Nick's hands. "They care too much to care if we're fucking," He explained before giving Nick a soft kiss on the lips, realizing that he really had had nothing to worry about all along, that he was himself, no matter what...**

**Nick returned the kiss gently, running fingers through Greg's already messy hair, messing it up even further. **

**Pulling back slightly Greg smirked. "Hey Nicky?" He muttered, his lips brushing the older man's lightly.**

**"Yeah," Nick replied, bringing a hand up to stroke Greg's cheek tenderly, glad to see that the fear was gone from his eyes.**

**"You hands stopped shaking," Greg looked into his eyes, love emanating from his entire being. **

**Nick grinned once he realized that Greg was right. "Your whole body is shaking." He murmured softly, wrapping his arms around his waist again.**

**"Make it stop then," Greg grinned wickedly before sealing his lips over Nick's, kissing him deeply, happier than he'd been in his entire life, thoughts of the explosion and Eric's treatment of him melting away, in favour of thoughts about how good his life was going to be from that moment on. **


End file.
